Find Help: Starting School

When your child starts school, it marks a significant change in family life, especially for your oldest or youngest child. It’s normal to feel anxious about their happiness, social integration, and enjoyment of schoolwork. Concerns about potential bullying or discrimination from peers or teachers are also common. While these feelings are natural, they shouldn’t discourage you from encouraging your child to fully engage with their education. 

Starting or changing schools can be one of the biggest transitions in a child’s life, but it’s important to remember that most children thrive in a school environment and make the most of their educational opportunities. If challenges arise, there are usually solutions available, and this section of the website aims to guide you through them. 

The following advice is general and aimed at parents whose children are starting school for the first time. If you have more specific concerns, please refer to the subsequent sections or Contact Us for support. 

Guide Your Child 

• Help your child develop the independence skills they need, such as playing with other children, dressing themselves, and looking after their belongings. 
• Borrow storybooks about starting school from the library and read them to your child. In the week leading up to their first day, adjust their bedtime and wake-up times to align with the school schedule. 
• Decide early on who will accompany your child to school on their first day, so they are aware of what to expect on the morning of their big day. 
• Share your own memories from your first day of school or amusing stories from your school years to give them a light-hearted perspective on what’s to come. 
• Plan a small treat for the end of the school day; they may be tired, so a simple outing to the local park or their favourite meal will be a wonderful reward. 

Provide Emotional Support 

• Speak positively about starting school while also listening to and acknowledging any anxious feelings or fears your child may express.
• Help boost your child’s confidence; for instance, reassure them that it’s perfectly okay to ask to go to the toilet at school. 
• If you feel anxious, talk to someone about your feelings, ensuring your child doesn’t pick up on any negativity—it’s normal to have a few jitters yourself. 
• Encourage your child to be considerate of others’ feelings and to remember to share and take turns. 
• If your child seems clingy or reluctant to leave you, inform them about your plans for the day—keep it as mundane as possible. 

Keep Communicating with the School 

• Learn how the school introduces new reception children and what the first day entails. Discuss this with your child to help them know what to expect. 
• Inform the school about your child’s needs, such as any special requirements, medical conditions, or preferences. 
• Take time to familiarise yourself with the school environment; visit your child’s classroom to better understand what they will be doing, enabling you to engage in meaningful conversations about their day. 
• Establish a good relationship with the school from the outset. Approach phone calls or meetings with friendliness and openness, and try to maintain your composure even if you feel frustrated about something, as you will be interacting with them frequently during your child’s primary school years. 
• Attend as many meetings as possible before and after your child starts school. If you’re unable to attend, call the school to request that any relevant information be sent to you. 

Completing school application forms is generally a straightforward process. However, families who travel and may not have all the necessary paperwork might feel overwhelmed and unable to complete the forms as required. It’s essential to recognise that these forms are designed for the majority and often do not accommodate the unique circumstances of Romani (Gypsy), Roma, and Irish Traveller communities. 

In such cases, we advise parents to fill out as much of the form as possible, including at least the following details: 

Child’s full name 

Child’s date of birth 

Parents’ names 

Emergency contact information (a phone number) 

An address (if possible, though not essential) 

By providing these details, the school and local authority are obligated to find suitable education for your child upon request. Don’t let complex forms or online portals discourage you; it is possible to navigate this process in a simpler, more traditional manner. This guidance is also intended to assist parents who may struggle with reading and writing skills. It’s a good idea to inform the school that you need help with completing the application forms. Most staff members are more than willing to assist, regardless of whether you face language barriers or difficulties with literacy. 

If, after attempting to complete the process outlined above, the school or local authority refuses to engage with you, insists on using online forms, or demands that all forms be fully completed, they may be acting unlawfully. This behaviour could constitute indirect discrimination or a failure to comply with their Public Sector Equality Duty. In such instances, parents should seek support, as a letter or phone call from an advocate can often persuade the school or local authority to collaborate with Romani (Gypsy), Roma, and Irish Traveller families seeking to access education for their children. 

School admissions can be stressful for any family. The choices available to parents are often limited by their location, complex admission arrangements, and increased pressure on school places in the area. Families with disabled children may have additional concerns about whether a school will include their child, keep them safe, and provide the necessary support for their learning. 

Most children with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) will secure a school place in the same way as children without SEND. However, there is a different system for children with an Education, Health and Care (EHC) plan or a statement of special educational needs. 

The charity Contact (for Families with Disabled Children) offers support for parents of children with registered SEND or an EHCP. Visit their website to find out more about the support they can provide. 

Additionally, the charity SENDIASS offers a similar service. Visit their website to learn more about the support they can offer. 

Sometimes, parents may be dissatisfied with the school their child has been admitted to. This may be because the school was not their first choice, or because their child will not be attending the same school as family or friends. 

Parents have the right to appeal school placements. However, it is important to note that while parents can choose which schools to apply to, they do not have the final say in determining the placement. The Government website outlines the appeal process clearly; click here to view this information. 

It is worth remembering that for an appeal to be successful, a legitimate reason must be provided to enable the local authority to grant the appeal. This reason must be one that the local authority acknowledges; just because a parent believes they have a valid reason does not mean it will be deemed legitimate by the authority. For this reason, we advise families to seek support when appealing a school placement, and to do so well in advance of the appeal deadline. Once an appeal is made and lost, there is little that anyone can do to assist unless there is clear evidence that the process itself was unlawful, such as a school place being refused on the basis of race. Additionally, seeking help in a timely manner is essential to allow for a professional or volunteer to provide assistance. 

Things to Consider 

When appealing, it is important to consider the consequences of embarking on such a lengthy process, particularly if it results in your child not starting school alongside their classmates. 

Be aware that an appeal can prolong the period of uncertainty for both parents and children. Therefore, it’s crucial to be realistic about your reasons for appealing and the likelihood of success. 

This is especially true if you are appealing a decision that denies your child a place in an infant class (such as reception, Year 1, or Year 2), where the law limits the number of pupils to 30 per teacher, except in specific exceptional circumstances. Consequently, there are limited situations in which an appeal panel can uphold an infant class appeal. 

You should also consider accepting any school place offer you receive to ensure your child has a placement in case your appeal is unsuccessful. Accepting another offer will not affect your appeal, and the appeals process does not limit other options available to you. 

Before making an appeal, it will be helpful to understand how the school allocated its places, so you can grasp why your child did not secure a spot. A school’s admission arrangements can usually be found on the school’s or local council’s website. 

Sometimes, things can go awry. There are countless reasons that issues may arise in a child’s education or in a parent’s relationship with the school. While some problems are to be expected, often stemming from a lack of communication or misunderstandings, it is crucial to address concerns promptly and not let issues fester. Most issues can often be resolved through simple, informal means, so we advise parents to follow the steps below to address matters quickly, without resorting to unnecessary complex processes. 

However, if a serious issue arises, parents should take appropriate steps or seek advice before acting. 

Talk to Your Child and Their Teacher 

First, talk to your child if they’re unhappy at school or if you have concerns about their education. Gather as much information as possible. You might be able to help your child resolve the issue by suggesting changes they can make to improve the situation. 

If this doesn’t work, reach out to their teacher. When you do, you should: 

• Explain the problem clearly. 
• Ask what they can do to help and when. 
• Request a timeline for updates. 

If you email or write a letter to the teacher, keep a copy. If you call or speak in person, make a note of the date and document what was discussed—either immediately or shortly afterwards. Your notes could be helpful if you need to follow up with the school regarding the issue. If your child is struggling to learn or make friends, they might need additional support. You can speak to the school’s Special Educational Needs Coordinator (SENCo) or a staff member responsible for inclusion. 

Talk to the Headteacher 

If the teacher does not resolve the problem, you can ask to speak with the headteacher. They may refer you to another staff member who handles behaviour issues, but you can insist on speaking with the headteacher if you prefer. 

When speaking to the headteacher, you should: 

• Clearly explain the problem. 
• Ask what they can do to assist and when. 
• Request a timeline for updates. 

Again, keep a copy of any written correspondence, and note the date and details of any phone conversations or meetings. Your records could prove useful if you need to follow up or escalate the complaint. 

Ask Other Parents 

If the issue affects multiple children at the school, consider discussing it with other parents. You can take collective action, such as requesting to speak at a Parent Teacher Association (PTA) meeting or writing a letter to the headteacher and school governors. 

You can also ask the school office how to contact the PTA, or you may find their details on the school’s website. 

Make a Formal Complaint 

If you’re still unsatisfied, you can file a formal complaint. All state schools are required to have a complaints procedure; you can request a copy from the school or check their website. Typically, you’ll need to email or write a letter to the headteacher and the governing body, explaining the issue and why you are dissatisfied with the school’s response. Be sure to keep copies of everything you send. 

If the school invites you to a meeting regarding your complaint, consider bringing your child’s other parent or a friend along for support; be sure to inform the school if you intend to do this. It’s wise for one person to take notes during the meeting. 

If you need assistance with the formal complaint process, you can contact your nearest Citizens Advice. 

Complain to Your Local Education Authority 

If your formal complaint does not resolve the issue, you may have the option to complain to your Local Education Authority (LEA). 

Your LEA is the local council that oversees education in your area; you can find your LEA on the GOV.UK website. They will inform you whether they can assist with your issue. 

Please note that you cannot complain to your local education authority if your child attends a: 

• Free school 
• Academy 
• Private school 

For alternative guidance, please refer to the information available on GOV.UK.